It’s 9:30am. Sitting here at the desk, hoping to garner a few minutes of focus and do some writing. It’s a challenge, though – on my second cup of coffee, listening to Ian Astbury belt out “She Sells Sanctuary“, and rolling around the floor in my chair. I luuuurve The Cult.

Sigh… reel it in, girl.

A few days ago, I came across a site that’s a wonderful resource for organizing your life… and your thoughts. It’s called Ordinary and Happy. Just printed out their “31 Days of Introspection in October”, which is perfect. Makes you think about things, which will help tremendously with a larger writing project that I’m beginning. It’s a cool site… you should check it out!

But it appears I’m already nine days behind in this introspection thingie, so I’m going to make up for that right now. Here goes…

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October 1: Your Top Priorities in Life. I’m keeping it relatively simple right now.

#1 is my health (mental, physical, spiritual, emotional);

#2 is my home (feeling safe and “grounded”);

#3 my music (singing and writing lyrics for songs I hope to one day record);

#4 my relationships (finding and connecting with my “tribe”);

#5 my writing.

October 2: What Excites You About the Future?

Now that both of my parents have made it to the Other Side, it’s time for me to focus on taking care of ME. For so long, I felt that wanting things for myself was selfish – so I put many of them aside. The long talks I had with dad while he was in hospice helped me to see that differently.

I’m retired, relatively in good shape financially (as long as the pension check keeps showing up in my bank account each month), and I’m now only responsible for myself. For the first time in my life, I could actually do just about anything I wanted to.

The possibility of finishing the book I’ve been wanting to write for years can now become a reality. Traveling to Scotland because I feel like it’s part of who I am. Making music with my “tribe”. The possibility of finding my Person…

But I’ll talk about most of these later.

October 3: Qualities You Have That You’re Proud of…

I think the quality of which I feel most proud is my ability to help others feel comfortable. Seems like people I barely know will open up to me fairly quickly in conversations and share things that, in my opinion, require a level of trust. Maybe it’s because I’m a good listener. I hear, but I listen, too. People’s stories are important, and they need to be heard and acknowledged.

October 4: One Thing You Could Improve on and a Plan of Action for It.

Oh, lordy… SO many things here, but at the moment, it’s wrangling in all the various ideas I have for things I want to create artistically. My mind is always full of new, sometimes a little weird, things I want to create.

Pick one or two, and SEE THEM THROUGH to the finished product. Maybe even schedule dedicated time on my calendar to focus on them and nothing else. Right now, I see five projects I started this week with the intention of completing… tick, tick…

October 5: Activities That Make You Happy.

So many here as well, but I’ll say that being up anywhere along the Blue Ridge Parkway, making music with my good friends, nights on my patio with the fire table going, a glass of good bourbon or moscato, and Tom Petty’s Buried Treasure show on the speakers… and full-tilt rambling whenever possible are among the things that light me up.

October 6: People Who Make You Happy.

The crazy, musically unpredictable, and fun Thursday night open mic gang.

The “tough women” I have grown to admire over the years – Kim P., Donna D.W., Sheryl R., Nancy P., Michele G., Connie U., Shiela K., Tracy H., Donna G.H., Phyllis A., Kerry P., Julie S., Tammy C., Christine S., Dee K., Theresa H., Crystal G., Tish Z., and Anjanie M. And I’m meeting more of them every day. ❤

My special somebody. He’s the “fizz” in my Cheerwine that tickles my nose and makes me laugh. The peas to my carrots. The harmony to my melody. The one who sees me. The one who gets me.

October 7: The Best Day You’ve Ever Had and Why.

I’ve had several incredible days, but one that will always be at the top of my list is the day my former band played the Carolina Blues Festival in May 2013. Since I was little, I used to dream of being the lead vocalist in a band and performing in front of a large crowd. If you had asked me a year before that time if I thought I’d be doing that, I would’ve said no way. But when you take a chance and have the support of fellow musicians and the community, days like these can happen.

Still feel the energy that was rushing through my body as I stood stage right, waiting for the song to begin. It was both awesome and terrifying, looking out over the band and seeing the lawn full of people who were clapping and dancing. One of the greatest feelings is seeing your friends digging the music, smiling and pointing at you, and then being able to return the gesture to say “thank you”. I was somewhere between crying and throwing up the entire time – the latter didn’t happen, but when we finished our show, the former did. And, oh my gosh, would I love to feel that way again sometime.

October 8: The Best Day You’ve Ever Had at Work and Why.

It’s been a little over five years since I retired from full-time work as a college administrator. Over thirty-two years, I had the opportunity to work with thousands of prospective and enrolled students, but I think the best day I can remember is the day one of my advisees earned her associate’s degree. She asked if I’d take a photo with her on that day, and over fifteen years later, I still look at it and am amazed at how she exceeded every goal she set… all while being one of the fiercest, most devoted young mothers and human beings I’ve ever had the privilege to know.

Over the years she was in school, we spent lots of time talking about career aspirations, working through personal challenges, and celebrating the successes. This young lady shook up the Student Government and continued creating a stir all the way to earning a Master’s Degree from Wake Forest Law School. Jeana, you freakin’ ROCK on so many levels. ❤

October 9: What New Experiences Do You Want to Have?

Oh, wow. You had to throw me that one today?

Well, the thing that sits with me the most is that I am ready to get out of my safe little space here in North Carolina. I will travel to the one place that brings me to tears every time I hear bagpipes or see photos of the beautiful rolling landscapes – I want to go immerse myself in Scotland. The people. The music. The food (maybe even haggis). The mystery. The impending long flight and my issues with feeling a bit claustrophobic in a plane after a couple of hours is just going to have to be ignored. This place is calling me. Loudly.

I also want to record some more music. I’ve done a little bit over the years, but I want to do more… and the new experience is that I want some of them to be songs I’ve written. And I wouldn’t have a problem with it if someone enjoyed hearing them.

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I’ll stop here and continue sharing each day’s introspection for the rest of the month. But for now, which of these questions speak to you? Feel like sharing your thoughts with me? I’m a good listener… er… reader. 🙂

Don’t forget to check out Ordinary and Happy, ok?